My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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