It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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