I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
