i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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