so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
