Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
