Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
