I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
