An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
