but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
