You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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