I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
