Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you win again, gameday.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
