she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
