Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
