Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
