The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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