I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You can't special order awesome
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Randomize
