3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Iām looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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