Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
ttyl tear gas
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
