we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
