put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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