we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
