My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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