genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
