Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
