Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
