Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
