Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
