It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
