Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
