How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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