How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize