It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
