my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
