Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i dont even know how to be here
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
