new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
try to milk me bitch
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