Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize