so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
