Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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