all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
