look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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