We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
