Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
