I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
