the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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