No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
