My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
