u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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