i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
