you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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