just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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