my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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