im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize