There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
