Don't you send me to vm
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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