She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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