So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
