don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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