I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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