I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
