Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
