don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
