New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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