we have pet lesbian snakes
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize